Leslie and Toad

I don't have a whole lot to talk about today, but I thought I'd share with everybody a few funny stories. The first one is about the cane toads that occur in plague proportions throughout Fiji. Leslie had painted the back door to our house and had left the door open so the fresh breeze would help the paint dry more quickly. We were in our room reading for a few hours as the paint was drying and I walked into the kitchen to get a snack. I saw a big fat cane toad on our kitchen floor, hopping around. I went to pick it up and the thing literally exploded with urine. I mean it was a LOT of freakin' piss. The toad was about the size of a baseball, yet it seemed to produce about a full liter of toad piss. My shorts were soaking with it, and there was a big puddle of it on the floor. Luckily for me toad tinkle doesn't really cause warts....I think.
The second funny story is about Leslie (yay! funny Leslie story!) As some of you may already know, Leslie is quite the sleep talker. I have had lengthy conversations with her while she was fast asleep. Well, this particular conversation was really unusual. I woke up in the middle of the night to hear Leslie mumbling some sort of gibberish. She actually sat up in bed, opened her eyes and said, "John! Will you please pick that meat off the floor? It's going to stink." I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. Meat on the floor? I asked, " Really, meat on the floor. Huh. How do you think it got there?" "It fell off the truck." she replied, in a very annoyed tone. How else would it have gotten there? " So, some meat fell off the truck and landed on the floor. Interesting. Do you want me to eat it?" "No! I want you to pick it up. Stop being patronizing!" Leslie has quite the vocabulary when she is sleep talking. After that she dozed off. I told her about it the next day and she had no recollection.